Snoring in the 19th Century

This article was written in 1887 and was printed by the New York Times. There is a wide popular misapprehension as to the true nature of snoring. It is almost universally regarded as a mere weakness of the flesh, whereas it is really a vice, and ought to be treated as a crime. Instead of being an involuntary act, it is a willful and shameless outrage. It is true that the snorer is usually a person who lacks nervous force and whose physical frame not being kept in constant restraint, becomes limp and loose during sleep and thus readily yields to the temptation to snore. The drunkard is likewise a fickle and irresolute person, who is unable to govern his bodily appetites, but we do not accept this as an excuse for drunkenness. It is the duty of every man to abstain from snoring, no matter how strongly he may be tempted. ST. PAUL remarked that he "kept his body under" - or, in other words, that he did not permit himself to snore, and every person should follow his example. As a matter of fact, it is notorious that no self-respecting person is ever guilty of snoring. Women never snore, except in those rare instances where age has dulled their delicacy, and led them to neglect their hair, and wear slippers several sizes to large for them. Such women occasionally shock their friends by snoring but youth and beauty never snores. Among men, snoring must be preceded by a loss of self-respect, and an indifference to the feelings of others. Weak men and coarse men may snore, but no great and good man ever mocked the calm midnight with the howling of a brutal nose. In these days when men constantly travel in sleeping-cars, some efficacious prescription for the prevention and cure of snoring is eagerly desired. The most popular remedy for the end in question is a liberal dose of soap - the yellow variety being preferable - inserted in the mouth of the snorer. As a rule, the criminal always lies on his back, and keeps his mouth open. If a wedge-shaped piece of soap, of about the size of a piece of cheese, or say a trifle smaller than a piece of chalk, is placed in the snorer's mouth, he will undergo temporary strangulation, and then sit up and make theological remarks. The trouble with this remedy is that it is not lasting in its effects. The snorer who is soaped will in most cases resume his loathsome practice as soon as he falls asleep. Of course, if he be killed, his snoring is permanently cured, but the sickly sentimentality that is so common in our day renders men shamefully loath to kill even the most abandoned snorer. The recent treatment to which a snorer was subjected on board a Union Pacific sleeping-car was certainly effective, and may afford a useful hint to the traveling public, although it will not, perhaps, prove feasible in all circumstances. The train was bound west, and the rear sleeping-car was nearly full. At the usual hour the beds were made, and the travelers climbed into them with comparatively few contusions. Precisely half an hour afterward a man in one of the lower berths began to snore. His was not the brilliant, brassy snore of the New-England nose, but the heavy, sonorous, trombone-like snore of the middle-aged German. In range, power, and tone it was unique, and it instantly awoke the entire company - several of the passengers being impressed with the belief that a collision had occurred, and that a hostile locomotive had entered the car. The noise was endured for a time, with the faint hope that the snorer would strangle himself but as he settled down to a uniform rhythmic snore, that was evidently meant to last all night, it was felt that active measures were imperatively needed. The porter was found and bribed to shake the snorer, and to explain to him that his conduct was really intolerable. The culprit awoke with a wild start, made a few feeble remarks in German, and then, sinking back to his pillow, recommenced his refrain. In these circumstances it was plain that the only hope lay in keeping him awake for the rest of the night, and a stalwart Texan, nobly offering to sacrifice his own rest for the benefit of the others, was detailed to constantly prod the German with a stick. Even this plan proved a failure. The snorer could not be thoroughly aroused, and the only effect of the constant insertion of the stick in his ribs was to vary the character of his snore, and to render it rather worse than it had been. By this time the passengers were convinced that mild measures would never do. A vigilance committee of six members was therefore appointed, and the German, who was a small man, was dragged from his bed and placed on the wood-box in the rear of the car. He was now thoroughly awake, and protested with great vehemence against his treatment. A number of shawl-straps were produced, and he was firmly fastened to a staple, and warned that if he indulged in any further language, or ventured to fall asleep again, he would be taken apart with a screw-driver and distributed along the track. Although he was an obstinate man, he did not lack discretion, and so relapsed into silence. Gradually the vigilance committee yielded to the desire to sleep, and at 11 o'clock the snorer was left in sole charge of the noble Texan. At 11:15 his head sank on his bosom, and he uttered a prolonged snore that jarred the very frame-work of the car. Grimly the Texan produced from his valise a porous plaster which he firmly applied to the mouth and nose of the unhappy wretch. The snoring ceased; a few convulsive kicks marred the varnish on the side of the wood-box, and all was still. In the morning the corpse was removed into the baggage-car, and the enthusiastic passengers made up a purse of three hundred dollars, which, together with a beautifully engraved copy of laudatory resolutions, was presented to the ingenious Texan. It thus appears that a porous plaster when applied to the mouth and nose of a snorer will effect a permanent cure. The only objectionable feature of this mode of treatment consists in the difficulty of disposing the body. In a city like New York, the meddlesome interference of Coroners would prove troublesome. Still, it is something to know that there is a way of silencing the loudest snore, and at the same time doing something like justice to the wretched victim of an atrocious and wholly inexcusable vice. < Prev   Next >